What Makes Your Child Happy?

By Connie Allen

Every parent wants their child to be happy. Every educator wants their students to love learning. In fact, it is one of the driving desires that affects the choices parents make regarding their child. Yet, how much do you know about what makes your child and students deeply happy and content?

We act as if the secret to happiness is material possessions for both our children and ourselves. We buy toys and designer clothes on their wish list, only to find them tossed aside tomorrow or strung out over their bedroom floor.

Other times parents and educators act as if saying nice, encouraging things paves the road to happiness for children. Parents often put a lot of energy and effort into saying the "right" things to keep their child happy.

Other times we act as if we believe activity is the key to happiness and joy for our children. We drive them to classes and play dates, without really noticing if our child is happy or not.

You may think your child is happy even though she is struggling inside emotionally. What I've found is that our society don't know a lot about emotional wellness. Consequently, you may miss the clues your child gives you about how she really feels inside.

Children pretend to be happy and smile even when that is not what they are feeling.

Your child's happiness doesn't depend on material possessions, kind words from others, or specific activities. His happiness comes from feeling certain and clear in who he is and making choices that reflect his personal integrity.

Happiness comes from knowing that she belongs, that she is deeply loved by the important people in her life. It comes from knowing she is respected and valued for who she is. In other words, your child's happiness depends on his emotional wholeness.

This is why in all my work we focus exclusively on how to nurture emotional wholeness in your child. Children need love and respect from themselves more than they need love and respect from us. Happiness comes from inner love and respect.

Love Joyously!

So what's a parent or educator to do?

Make your child's emotional wholeness one of your highest priorities. Emotional well-being is more important than managing her behavior and making sure she's doing the right things. It's emotional well-being that lays the foundation for the great behavior and the wise choices.

When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, he glows with joy and a feeling of certainty that is unmistakable to people around him. When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, power struggles, tantrums, defiance, depression, anxiety, and a host of other behavioral challenges become things of the past.

When your child lives in a place of her emotional well-being, he flourishes and shines brightly. He radiates beauty, joy, and love from the inside out. This is where it counts!

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Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children". Visit her blog.