By Connie Allen
Every parent wants their child to be happy. Every educator wants their students to love learning. In fact, it is one of the driving desires that affects the choices parents make regarding their child. Yet, how much do you know about what makes your child and students deeply happy and content?
We act as if the secret to happiness is material possessions for both our children and ourselves. We buy toys and designer clothes on their wish list, only to find them tossed aside tomorrow or strung out over their bedroom floor.
Other times parents and educators act as if saying nice, encouraging things paves the road to happiness for children. Parents often put a lot of energy and effort into saying the "right" things to keep their child happy.
Other times we act as if we believe activity is the key to happiness and joy for our children. We drive them to classes and play dates, without really noticing if our child is happy or not.
You may think your child is happy even though she is struggling inside emotionally. What I've found is that our society don't know a lot about emotional wellness. Consequently, you may miss the clues your child gives you about how she really feels inside.
Children pretend to be happy and smile even when that is not what they are feeling.
Your child's happiness doesn't depend on material possessions, kind words from others, or specific activities. His happiness comes from feeling certain and clear in who he is and making choices that reflect his personal integrity.
Happiness comes from knowing that she belongs, that she is deeply loved by the important people in her life. It comes from knowing she is respected and valued for who she is. In other words, your child's happiness depends on his emotional wholeness.
This is why in all my work we focus exclusively on how to nurture emotional wholeness in your child. Children need love and respect from themselves more than they need love and respect from us. Happiness comes from inner love and respect.
Love Joyously!
So what's a parent or educator to do?
Make your child's emotional wholeness one of your highest priorities. Emotional well-being is more important than managing her behavior and making sure she's doing the right things. It's emotional well-being that lays the foundation for the great behavior and the wise choices.
When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, he glows with joy and a feeling of certainty that is unmistakable to people around him. When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, power struggles, tantrums, defiance, depression, anxiety, and a host of other behavioral challenges become things of the past.
When your child lives in a place of her emotional well-being, he flourishes and shines brightly. He radiates beauty, joy, and love from the inside out. This is where it counts!
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children". Visit her blog.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents
By Guardian Angel
If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being realized by some parents because they think that they are intelligent enough and know everything about being good. Parenting is not a one-sided relationship, but rather a two-way street where both of you could smoothly pass. To realize what I am trying to say, view these points and see what you might be missing:
Broken promises
Sometimes we make a promise that you are going to buy his favorite toy if he will do well in school. But when the time comes, we have a lot of excuses. This bad attitude of ours will stick into his mind and whenever you make a promise again, he will not believe you anymore. Do not tell your child what you are not sure you can do. It will hurt him deep inside.
Overprotective
No parent wants his child be hurt, not even by a mosquito bite. But as our child grows up, he wants to discover things on his own. Climbing a small tree is a good exercise for little boys, although it is quite dangerous. Instead of getting mad when he insist of climbing it, it is better that you tell him the consequences if he falls, give him tips how to be safe and watch him do his will. If he falls, he will still climb again but he will be more careful this time.
Negative communication
Most of the time, when we are busy with something inside the house, our child will ask or try to help. Giving a negative response will definitely break his heart. Be glad that he likes to help or curious about something, that means he is kind and intelligent. You can always explain things in simple ways and he will be very eager to hear it.
Ignoring them
Working the whole day makes us very tired and our children sees that. But if you ignore him when he offers your slippers, he will be very upset. He may not have the ability to help you in your work, but he can cool your pressure down in his own little way. If he shows his drawings, tell him it is the best drawing you ever saw, even if it is just an image of an apple.
No logic anger
A simple mistake does not deserve a shout from you. Being clumsy sometimes is part of a growing child. It is our role to guide them how to do things right, not to punish them because they cannot do things well. You cannot expect a child to walk as fast as you can, so you do not have the right to scold him if he is slower than you, and that is logic.
He is not being asked
He may have the most expensive clothes and toys, but he is not being happy with it. This is because it is not his favorite color or style. If he does not eat well, it does not mean he is sick. He might want to eat something else. Remember, not all children love to eat hotdogs. You do not have to guess what he wants, just ask him and he will explain you all the details, with a smile.
You are not the doer
We keep telling our child that they should not watch late night shows, but we are doing it. No matter how well you explain it, your child will still be confused. Children always thought that we as adults are role models because we know what they do not. But if our actions are different with what we say, they will not like it.
Giving your children what they want is not always negotiable. Sometimes it is a must.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
I am a full-blooded Filipino who is trying to contribute to make our world a better place to live in. Parenting tips are only effective if we could realize them rather than just simply knowing and following them. www.whatparentsshouldrealize.blogspot.com
If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being realized by some parents because they think that they are intelligent enough and know everything about being good. Parenting is not a one-sided relationship, but rather a two-way street where both of you could smoothly pass. To realize what I am trying to say, view these points and see what you might be missing:
Broken promises
Sometimes we make a promise that you are going to buy his favorite toy if he will do well in school. But when the time comes, we have a lot of excuses. This bad attitude of ours will stick into his mind and whenever you make a promise again, he will not believe you anymore. Do not tell your child what you are not sure you can do. It will hurt him deep inside.
Overprotective
No parent wants his child be hurt, not even by a mosquito bite. But as our child grows up, he wants to discover things on his own. Climbing a small tree is a good exercise for little boys, although it is quite dangerous. Instead of getting mad when he insist of climbing it, it is better that you tell him the consequences if he falls, give him tips how to be safe and watch him do his will. If he falls, he will still climb again but he will be more careful this time.
Negative communication
Most of the time, when we are busy with something inside the house, our child will ask or try to help. Giving a negative response will definitely break his heart. Be glad that he likes to help or curious about something, that means he is kind and intelligent. You can always explain things in simple ways and he will be very eager to hear it.
Ignoring them
Working the whole day makes us very tired and our children sees that. But if you ignore him when he offers your slippers, he will be very upset. He may not have the ability to help you in your work, but he can cool your pressure down in his own little way. If he shows his drawings, tell him it is the best drawing you ever saw, even if it is just an image of an apple.
No logic anger
A simple mistake does not deserve a shout from you. Being clumsy sometimes is part of a growing child. It is our role to guide them how to do things right, not to punish them because they cannot do things well. You cannot expect a child to walk as fast as you can, so you do not have the right to scold him if he is slower than you, and that is logic.
He is not being asked
He may have the most expensive clothes and toys, but he is not being happy with it. This is because it is not his favorite color or style. If he does not eat well, it does not mean he is sick. He might want to eat something else. Remember, not all children love to eat hotdogs. You do not have to guess what he wants, just ask him and he will explain you all the details, with a smile.
You are not the doer
We keep telling our child that they should not watch late night shows, but we are doing it. No matter how well you explain it, your child will still be confused. Children always thought that we as adults are role models because we know what they do not. But if our actions are different with what we say, they will not like it.
Giving your children what they want is not always negotiable. Sometimes it is a must.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
I am a full-blooded Filipino who is trying to contribute to make our world a better place to live in. Parenting tips are only effective if we could realize them rather than just simply knowing and following them. www.whatparentsshouldrealize.blogspot.com
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