Special Parenting

Fatherhood - Are Fathers Still Needed Today?

2009-05-19T10:26:00.002+07:00

By Dan Morton

Is the concept of fatherhood important, and do fathers have a natural "feel" for fathering, similar to the instinctual qualities of mothers? And, are fathers still needed to help in the making of a successful adult?

As animals, human beings have a built-in protective mechanism for defending their offspring, i.e. making sure that their progeny survive to carry on a particular set of genes. And fathers, certainly have a built-in biological instinct to nurture and care for their offspring to ensure survival to adulthood, mainly to pass on his genes to future generations. But, does this survival instinct extend beyond basic survival, and are fathers needed to provide beyond basic survival?

Happy, Well Adjusted Children

From my own experience, after the job of making sure my children had the basics in life (food, shelter, etc.), I wanted for my children far beyond the basic necessities in life. Not necessarily meaning physical "stuff", but more along the lines of giving to my offspring the means to make a good life for themselves as adults. To me, this meant several things:

Giving them a basis for making good choices (careers, friends, etc.)
Letting them build good self-esteem by actually trying new things, making mistakes and learning from those mistakes
Letting failures happen. As part of learning, failure is very important. The child then learns how to turn failure into success
Rewarding success, whether it be in school, sports or anywhere in between
Providing a foundation for moral decision-making

Fathers Provide Leadership

Children will "do as you do" rather than "do as you say." They will follow your example. If you, as a father, are lazy, insincere and disrespectful, chances are your children will follow suit and learn from you. With this in mind, it's important for fathers to live life as they preach, because your children are watching closely, and will mimic your behavior until it's part of their character.

As a condition of fatherhood, it's the father's duty to make sure his children know the basics:

Wrong from right
Good work ethic
Respect for others
Introspection
A logical approach for good decision making

Mothers Role vs. Fatherhood

A mother's role in raising children tends towards the nurturing side of the equation. Without a father's input and guidance (and even with exceptional mothering, no disrespect intended), a child may reach adulthood lacking some very basic life skills - skills that may take years of trial and error to develop into adulthood.

My conclusion? Mothers and fathers both play great roles in raising happy, healthy and well-adjusted children - especially in today's relatively harsh and raw society. Mothers seem to garner the majority of respect because they actually bear the child, and are responsible for the child's early survival and development. But, as the child ages and enters the complexities of modern life, fatherhood is critical to the formation of a whole being - a man or a woman rather than a grown child.

That's why fathers are more needed today than any time in the past.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
(my own article directory)

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Teach Your Children To Be Responsible With Their Money

2008-10-07T19:11:00.000+07:00

By Zacharias Allred

Teaching children financial responsibility is extremely necessary to help your children lead happy lives. Money problems plague many people and much of the reason is a lack of education. Teaching them is simple when done little by little every day. Here are six steps that will assist you.

1. Set a good example. Children are very aware of what is going on around them and they will start questioning some of your actions. Take using a credit card for example. When I fill up sometimes my little children will ask me why I use a credit card if they are bad. I have to chuckle at how intuitive they are. But this gives me an opportunity to explain to them the proper use of a credit card.

2. Start while kids are young. We have a tendency to put things off with our children partly because we feel they are too young. With money, you can start teaching your children when they are between 3 and 4 years of age.

3. Have a budget. Our spending overtime usually evolves into a budget system since most of us have to be careful with our money. Use this as an opportunity to teach your kids that each month you have a set amount of income that comes in, and therefore you have to be careful how you spend it. This may also help your cause when you are at the store and your child is asking you to buy them everything they see.

4. Immediate gratification? The next time your child asks for something they want, talk to them about earning the money. If it is really big like a bicycle you can tell them that you will match the money they earn. Help them by finding jobs around the house and yard but do not make it too easy for them.

5. Shopping. As a father I do the grocery shopping sometimes and I frankly do not know how my wife does it. You have to have a degree in purchasing. Add to that whining children and well, you get the idea. What I do is I take a few children with me and I tell them to find the best price on different items. You can even get them a little hand held calculator and teach them to figure cost per ounce.

6. World markets. Financial markets are a part of our lives, so you need to educate your children about them. This will go a long ways in teaching them about money because they will make better buying decisions. What is a "blue chip?" Why can the market go down in a bull market when unemployment goes down? Your children need to know.

Children can learn to be financially responsible when you as a parent start early and teach them by example. Let them be part of the solution when you are shopping and trying to make good decisions. When they want something, show them how they can earn the money with your help. Do not forget the world markets as a tool for teaching your children. Discuss financial concepts. Like me you can learn a lot as well.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Get a free e book on parenting by visiting Zacharias Allred's web site about teaching children. You can also click on teaching children about money to read other free articles.

Your Children Can Help You Save Money

2008-05-21T18:52:00.000+07:00

By Stephanie Foster

Kids are expensive, there's no doubt. Food, clothing, entertainment, education... it all adds up.

If you take some time to talk with them, they can also help you save money. That's helpful at any point.

In my experience, children are very sweet about things when you talk to them about why you want to save money. My daughter at age 5 offered to start a lemonade stand when we explained about money being tight. She just really wanted to help.

The first thing you want to give your children is a reason to help you save money. You may choose to share with them a portion of what is saved. You could set a savings goal for a family vacation. You just need to figure out what will motivate them and you.

Have a family meeting to start discussing options. You want to get everyone on board with the general concepts. You probably won't come up with every possible idea for saving money right away, but you can get the thought processes moving.

One of the great things about talking things out with kids is that sometimes they are very willing to make sacrifices. They can really surprise you, even at a young age.

Some things they should help you with will be obvious. If keeping extra lights turned off is an issue, come up with a reward system for that. It doesn't have to be significant, perhaps just a mark on a chart that will eventually lead to something.

You may be able to compete with each other a bit too. You can each pick a habit that's wasting a bit of money, and see who does the best at beating it. You should be sure the competition stays lighthearted, and keep encouraging your children so that there's a good chance that they could win. Your purpose here, after all, is two fold. You want to save money but you also want your children to get a good lesson.

Another good area to explore with your children is snacking. Could they go from a more expensive snack to a cheaper and possibly healthier one? It can be done. Things like fruit snacks really aren't that cheap.

This should lead to your kids helping you shop for bargains in the grocery store. Have them help you with the ads, figuring out which stores to visit and what to buy. Maybe even have them help with some menu planning.

Another big expense for many families comes from video games. You may want to consider renting video games rather than buying them, or talking with other families in your area about trades. Your children will probably know which of their friends have the same system and might be open for trades. Setting up workable rules can be a challenge but also a good lesson. But if things are tight enough, new games may simply have to be given up on.

Your family can probably come up with a lot more ideas to save some money. You can figure out what kind of rewards for saving money makes sense for your family, and really get everyone motivated. It's really wonderful to be able to get some control over some of the expenses associated with raising a family.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Stephanie Foster runs www.homewiththekids.com as a resource for stay at home moms. Get more tips on spending less money at her site.

To Home School Or Not To Home School?

2008-05-05T17:39:00.002+07:00

By Jim Brown

The decision to home school your child or not is definitely not an easy one to make. There are a lot of considerations to think about and deliberate with your spouse before you plunge into a solid and sound conclusion.

Home schooling needs your commitment to spend time to teach your children. The course will take a full chunk of your day. This involves planning the lessons, setting up your sessions and the materials needed, working one on one with your child as he or she progresses through the projects and experiments and checking their work after.

In home schooling, you will be multi-tasking as the science/math/gym or music teacher, as the guidance councilor, as the principal and even as the maintenance personnel. Time management skills are a strong factor in making home schooling work.

Parents should be able to allocate time for learning and ample time to take care of the basic household chores as well. This could mean sacrificing personal time and space to accommodate your child's learning development. Home schooling is definitely not for those moms who would want a separate career for themselves. The former is a full time job in itself.

Financially, home school may be more practical for some families. For one, the parent will be able to save on lunch money, bus fares and other school expenses usually involving extra-curricular activities. However, the parents should also consider that you will be buying your own books and materials needed for your child's home education. It is also a given that at least one is a stay at home parent.

Pressure may be placed on the spouse who works single handedly to supplement the household needs and expenses. Nevertheless, if one is resourceful and really good at time management, one can probably handle home schooling and carrying out freelance home based jobs that are prevalent nowadays.

One may think that home schooling may deprive children of social activities and interaction with other kids as compared to when they go to a regular private or public school. Although children may spend more time at home, this does not mean that they can have no social life. They always have the chance to go out and play with their friends and neighbors at some point during the day.

Some also have the opinion that children bond and have greater emotional development if they stay and learn at home with their parents especially during the formative years of a child. Children who are home schooled are said to be more mature as they influenced more by the traits and experiences of their parents who are with them 24/7. You may also be saving your child from being swayed by peer pressure or cliques that are popular among schools nowadays.

As mentioned earlier, the choice to go for home schooling should be agreed upon by both parents. A one-sided decision may not work well and cause disagreements from time to time in your household. It would be difficult working for a course of action when you do not have the support and encouragement of your spouse.

If you choose to, you may also ask your child whether he wants to be home schooled or not. His answer may not make so much of a difference as you have the parental authority to choose what is best for him but it may be great to know what he thinks. Remember, it will be easier for him to learn if he is willing and acceptable to the process.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

James Brown writes about ClickN READ Phonics key code, eCampus.com discounts and Monster Learning coupon code

How To Help Your Child Choose A College Course

2008-04-24T10:01:00.002+07:00

By Guardian Angel

Entering college is the final episode of our child as a student. After this, he will be facing the real world. This last step is very important since this will be his lifetime investment. However, some parents leave the decision to their child alone. Although it is their freedom to choose, parents should also give some advises. Doing this may be not that simple, especially if you have your own dream for your child. So before it could create a discomfort, here are some of helpful tips.

Do it early

As early as third year high school or two years before college, you should start asking your child about his dream course. By this time, he is quite sure of what he really wants. Convince your child to be vocal about it. In this way, you can analyze whether your child fits in it or not. This includes knowing his emotional and intellectual capabilities. A child will fail to reach his goal if he is not capable of doing it. It is actually not his fault. All of us were born with different talents. Success depends on how and when we start cultivating our craft.

Start saving money

Sending a child to college is not a joke. Tuition fee increases dramatically each year and not everybody is fortunate to finish a good course. That is why you should start saving as early as possible. There are a lot of college insurance plan available you can choose from. Although you are having a tight budget, it is worth to save. Do not let your child be disappointed to take a cheaper course that he does not like. It will be a waste of time and money. In addition, it will be frustrating if he will not finish it.

Point of interest

Help him know more about the different courses available and applicable to him. Your child might want to be an engineer but he cannot take the difficulties in mathematics. Do not allow your child to take chances. Let him be more interested to a certain career before going into it. If he enters college without a specific goal, he will be shifting from one course to another and might prolong his college years. The worst is that he may not even finish one. Time may come that you cannot support his studies anymore.

Support and not dictate

You may be disappointed if your child chooses a career path that is not your choice. This is a normal feeling of parents but you should allow him. Your child has his own identity and you must respect it. Financial and moral supports go hand in hand. If you push him, he might be rebellious or he might just follow your command. In either case, his future will be miserable. The most you can do is to give solid advises based on your experiences. A respected lawyer can also have the best chef son in the world.

Pursue a dream career

It is unfortunate that choosing a college course nowadays depend on the opportunity of earning good money in the future. Blame it on the dropping economy. However, there is a big downside of a wrong decision. Your child may be receiving an attractive compensation, but this is only temporary. It is very hard to perform with flying colors on something that you do not enjoy doing. For me, it is very important that you really love what you are doing. If you do, more opportunities can come and you will earn good money and high respect more than you expected.

Education is a passport to a brighter future, not a business investment.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

I am Filipino engineer who found himself more comfortable in writing letters instead of numbers, and interacting with humans rather than machines. For more effective parenting tips, successful marriage tips and other family issues, please feel free to visit my blog at Happy Family Matters at whatparentsshouldrealize.blogspot.com

Quality Parenting: The Underlying Principles

2008-03-30T19:03:00.001+07:00

By Don Dewsnap

When you raise a child, you are creating the future. Not just his or her future, but everyone's future. The results of your parenting will ripple and spread through the years, affecting thousands, and eventually millions of people. If you want the future to be better than the present, then you had better learn the principles of quality and how they apply to being a parent, for that is all that quality is: making things better.

No matter how good or not-so-good parent you are or think you are, you can be better. There are no upper limits on quality in parenting. The first, necessary, and most important step is to WANT to be a better parent. You have to choose, every day, whether you want to be a worse parent, stay the same, or be a better parent. There are no other choices. Being a better parent doesn't "just happen." If you don't choose to be a better parent, you are effectively choosing one of the other two options.

This also happens to be the first major principle of quality: Quality is an Attitude. Quality is wanting things to be better. It is aligning your sights in the direction of improvement.

The next most important step to improving your quality as a parent is to give yourself some credit. You deserve a lot of credit, probably more than you get. The very fact that you are willing to raise a child, to take that responsibility, in an uncertain world and against all odds, gives you high status. If you are part of a couple, you share that status, and had better acknowledge it in each other, at least.

Because opinions vary so widely about how to raise children, and because many people are taught that criticizing people is a way to help them (which it isn't), you may sometimes be criticized for how you are raising your children. This is when that credit you just gave yourself is important. You are doing something difficult, bravely. You are trying to get better at it. Others may try to sway you toward their way of thinking. But as long as you keep that Quality Attitude, and know you are working toward improvement, you can let their words roll off. Welcome to the second principle of quality: Quality Leads to Opposition.

The third major principle of quality, in parenting and everything else, is that Quality Takes Time. Small changes add up to big improvements, but not usually in huge dramatic leaps. Every time you take one small action, say one small word, that will help your child grow up happy and strong and ethical, and so make the future better, you have moved one step further up the path of quality parenting.

So what are these small actions and words? You have to decide that, as well. The tests are simple.

First, ask yourself what attitudes you don't like in other people, and teach the opposite attitudes to your child. Treat him or her with the attitudes you want him or her to learn. For example, if you don't like people who interrupt you, then listen to your child, from infancy onward, without interrupting. If you don't like people to hit you or shout at you ... well, you get the idea.

Second, and this is a bit harder, ask yourself what attitudes or behaviors you are not fond of in yourself, and try not to pass them on to your child. If you are not as neat and tidy as you wish you were, for instance, make an effort to demonstrate being neat to your child.

Quality parenting is not about being perfect. It is about moving in that direction, trying to improve. In the example above, you might still not be as tidy as you wish. But if you can make something neat that you normally wouldn't, even once, so your child can see you do it, that is improvement. That is increasing your quality as a parent. Every small step you make in that direction is valuable. They add up, and build on each other.

As you learn more about the principles of quality, and the basic quality actions, you will find more and more ways to apply them to parenting. The above three major principles are just the beginning. For now, remember the motto: Improving quality creates a better future, for everyone.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Don Dewsnap has spent three decades discovering, studying, and applying the actual principles of quality to all areas of life. His book, Anyone Can Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality, is available at Principles-of-Quality.com or at Amazon or B&N.

How to Teach Your Child the Value of Money

2008-02-21T11:21:00.001+07:00

By Guardian Angel

Money is the reason why we are working hard. As a parent, we will do everything just to earn money in order to give to our children their needs. We also tend to sacrifice a lot of things in order to earn good money, including time for our children. This is one of the good reasons why we should teach our children to value money. We do not want our effort to work be wasted. Another good reason is that they can use what they have learned when it is already time for them to work. If they learn early, they can easily get used to it. So when your child starts to understand that money is being used to buy things, you can use these helpful tips to teach your child:

Tell him about your work
Frequently telling stories about your work and how hard it is will somehow stick to his mind that money should be handled properly. When your child sees that you are tired from work, he will start to understand that earning money is not a joke. It is also advisable to make him understand how a simple business works and let him analyze how money is being circulated. In addition, he will also feel that you are doing all the best you can to provide his needs.

Let your child budget his money
Another effective way is to give exact money for his one-week allowance instead of giving it daily. Explain to him how much he should spend everyday so that the money will just fit for the whole week. If he used his money for unnecessary things, let him suffer the consequences instead of giving additional money. Let him study how to save money by simply not buying luxurious things. As he grows with it, you will not be only saving money but you are also teaching him to responsible.

Let him work for it
Although it is not proper to allow your child to work, there are some simple ways where you can teach him how to work hard to earn money. Now that your teenager can do simple household activities, require her to do the dishes and give money in return. However, you must be careful in motivating your child. She might misinterpret the difference between a reward and money as exchange for a hard work. If you fail to do so, there might come a time that your child will only do it because of money.

Show the bad effect
Use the media to provide samples to motivate your child further. Let him see for himself the bad effect if he will not learn to handle money properly. Allowing him to see the latest news about poverty and high inflation rate will make him somehow realize that he is lucky enough to enjoy his status. If he sees a group of children as young as him, but struggling hard to make a living, he will be afraid that he will be joining them someday if he will not value money.

Set a good example
I have always been mentioning this in almost all my posts. Say what you do, and do what you say. If your child sees that you are spending money for non-valuable things, you cannot force him on something that you do not do. There is really nothing wrong with enjoying your hard-earned money, as long as you have extra money for it. However, if you do not explain it well to your child, he will find it hard to understand it. Enjoying is very much different with wasting.

Although money cannot buy everything, it is still the main source of our daily needs and children should realize that as early as possible.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

I am a Filipino engineer who found himself more comfortable in writing letters instead of numbers, and interacting with humans rather than machines. For more tips about child care, health, growth and development, safety, and education and all about effective parenting, please feel free to visit Effective Parenting Tips at www.whatparentsshouldrealize.blogspot.com.

Are You Listening To The Heart And Soul of Your Child?

2008-02-08T09:58:00.000+07:00

By Connie Allen

Everyone struggles with how to respond to behavior they experience as difficult in other people. Even though we don't usually think of it, all of our difficulties with behavior are about emotions. They are about all of the emotions involved--ours and the other person's.

In our society, we don't pay much attention to our emotions, and as a result, we can feel pretty lost when situations become emotional. Generally, we are taught to suppress our emotions, especially the negative ones, such as anger, sadness, irritation and grief.

Many people believe their emotions get them into trouble. This is often true because they don't know how to lovingly and wisely handle their own uncomfortable emotions or someone else's.

We like to believe we are rational beings and that our choices and actions are based purely on reason and common sense. Research shows us something else. We make choices based on our emotions and then use our intellect to find rational reasons to explain why we made the choice we did.

Our emotions are at the heart and soul of who we are and what we say and do. They are a powerful force within us that we try to control, rather than listening to them and valuing their importance in our life.

We usually perceive all behavioral difficulties as strictly behavior and fail to see the emotional connection beneath the surface. You may believe you need to control and manage your child's behavior when she acts inappropriately.

But what I've seen is when you try to manage your child's behavior without considering what's happening with her emotionally, it seldom works in the long run. It's your child's emotions that drive her behavior and choices. When you learn to read and understand what is happening with your child emotionally, then you have the insight to make informed, wise, compassionate choices that support your child's emotional and spiritual well-being.

Your child's emotional stress can also be expressed physically in the lack of well-being in his body. The physical and emotional have a strong connection within all of us. You may even seek a doctor's advice for emotional problems that seem to be physical in nature. Emotional distress can be expressed in many ways in children, including eating problems, nervous habits, illness, and injury due to accidents.

The essential key to bring out the best in your child physically and behaviorally is to nurture his emotional and spiritual wholeness. Then he freely expresses his natural desire and ability to relate harmoniously with you. His soul essence shines brightly and he easily shares his magnificent gifts with life.

Love Joyously!

When you see your child struggling or misbehaving, take a step back and consider what is happening with her emotionally. Do not see the problem as only a behavioral or physical concern. Ask yourself, *What might my child be experiencing emotionally right now?*

You have within you a natural ability to nurture your child's emotional and spiritual wholeness. Decide to place your emphasis and focus here with your child and yourself. When you look beneath the surface to the heart and soul of your child, problems disappear and you and your child flourish in wonderful ways you didn't know were possible!

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children". Visit her blog.

What Makes Your Child Happy?

2008-01-28T16:42:00.000+07:00

By Connie Allen

Every parent wants their child to be happy. Every educator wants their students to love learning. In fact, it is one of the driving desires that affects the choices parents make regarding their child. Yet, how much do you know about what makes your child and students deeply happy and content?

We act as if the secret to happiness is material possessions for both our children and ourselves. We buy toys and designer clothes on their wish list, only to find them tossed aside tomorrow or strung out over their bedroom floor.

Other times parents and educators act as if saying nice, encouraging things paves the road to happiness for children. Parents often put a lot of energy and effort into saying the "right" things to keep their child happy.

Other times we act as if we believe activity is the key to happiness and joy for our children. We drive them to classes and play dates, without really noticing if our child is happy or not.

You may think your child is happy even though she is struggling inside emotionally. What I've found is that our society don't know a lot about emotional wellness. Consequently, you may miss the clues your child gives you about how she really feels inside.

Children pretend to be happy and smile even when that is not what they are feeling.

Your child's happiness doesn't depend on material possessions, kind words from others, or specific activities. His happiness comes from feeling certain and clear in who he is and making choices that reflect his personal integrity.

Happiness comes from knowing that she belongs, that she is deeply loved by the important people in her life. It comes from knowing she is respected and valued for who she is. In other words, your child's happiness depends on his emotional wholeness.

This is why in all my work we focus exclusively on how to nurture emotional wholeness in your child. Children need love and respect from themselves more than they need love and respect from us. Happiness comes from inner love and respect.

Love Joyously!

So what's a parent or educator to do?

Make your child's emotional wholeness one of your highest priorities. Emotional well-being is more important than managing her behavior and making sure she's doing the right things. It's emotional well-being that lays the foundation for the great behavior and the wise choices.

When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, he glows with joy and a feeling of certainty that is unmistakable to people around him. When you nurture your child's emotional wholeness, power struggles, tantrums, defiance, depression, anxiety, and a host of other behavioral challenges become things of the past.

When your child lives in a place of her emotional well-being, he flourishes and shines brightly. He radiates beauty, joy, and love from the inside out. This is where it counts!

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children". Visit her blog.

What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents

2008-01-07T10:58:00.000+07:00

By Guardian Angel

If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being realized by some parents because they think that they are intelligent enough and know everything about being good. Parenting is not a one-sided relationship, but rather a two-way street where both of you could smoothly pass. To realize what I am trying to say, view these points and see what you might be missing:

Broken promises
Sometimes we make a promise that you are going to buy his favorite toy if he will do well in school. But when the time comes, we have a lot of excuses. This bad attitude of ours will stick into his mind and whenever you make a promise again, he will not believe you anymore. Do not tell your child what you are not sure you can do. It will hurt him deep inside.

Overprotective
No parent wants his child be hurt, not even by a mosquito bite. But as our child grows up, he wants to discover things on his own. Climbing a small tree is a good exercise for little boys, although it is quite dangerous. Instead of getting mad when he insist of climbing it, it is better that you tell him the consequences if he falls, give him tips how to be safe and watch him do his will. If he falls, he will still climb again but he will be more careful this time.

Negative communication
Most of the time, when we are busy with something inside the house, our child will ask or try to help. Giving a negative response will definitely break his heart. Be glad that he likes to help or curious about something, that means he is kind and intelligent. You can always explain things in simple ways and he will be very eager to hear it.

Ignoring them
Working the whole day makes us very tired and our children sees that. But if you ignore him when he offers your slippers, he will be very upset. He may not have the ability to help you in your work, but he can cool your pressure down in his own little way. If he shows his drawings, tell him it is the best drawing you ever saw, even if it is just an image of an apple.

No logic anger
A simple mistake does not deserve a shout from you. Being clumsy sometimes is part of a growing child. It is our role to guide them how to do things right, not to punish them because they cannot do things well. You cannot expect a child to walk as fast as you can, so you do not have the right to scold him if he is slower than you, and that is logic.

He is not being asked
He may have the most expensive clothes and toys, but he is not being happy with it. This is because it is not his favorite color or style. If he does not eat well, it does not mean he is sick. He might want to eat something else. Remember, not all children love to eat hotdogs. You do not have to guess what he wants, just ask him and he will explain you all the details, with a smile.

You are not the doer
We keep telling our child that they should not watch late night shows, but we are doing it. No matter how well you explain it, your child will still be confused. Children always thought that we as adults are role models because we know what they do not. But if our actions are different with what we say, they will not like it.

Giving your children what they want is not always negotiable. Sometimes it is a must.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

I am a full-blooded Filipino who is trying to contribute to make our world a better place to live in. Parenting tips are only effective if we could realize them rather than just simply knowing and following them. www.whatparentsshouldrealize.blogspot.com

Are You Parenting for Today or Tomorrow?

2007-09-26T08:17:00.000+07:00

By: Steve Kroening

When my wife and I got married, we had a lot in common. But there was one area in which we were complete opposites. She lived for the future. I lived for today.

As a result, she had a nice savings account, a plan for her family (all the way down to meals and vacations), and a way to prioritize everything that came up, including expenditures. I, on the other hand, flew by the seat of my pants. If I saw something I wanted, I bought it. If I wanted to do something, I did it.

Obviously, my way of life wreaked havoc on hers. Over the years, though, she's convinced me of the need to plan ahead. I'm still not as good about it as she is. But it's made a huge difference in our relationship and our family.

One area we knew had to become more future oriented was our parenting. What were our goals? Where did we want our children to be when they reached 18? This included spiritual and emotional maturity, academic development, and other areas of growth. Our children are still young, so we're still working on many of these areas, but it did make us change some things about the way we parent.

For instance, discipline changed. Instead of expecting perfection now, we set our goals on having mature 18 year olds. This allowed us to work more with our children and to be more patient with them. We could take the time to sit and talk with them instead of trying to force them into a behavior. It also allowed us time to look at their hearts, not just their actions.

Of course, we still have to discipline for inappropriate actions they do today. But our discipline is directed toward a goal. Not just correcting behavior. When they fail to make progress, we have a way to evaluate where they are, why they aren't making progress, and it gives us some direction on how to move forward.

Being future-oriented in our parenting had other effects as well. We look at their eating habits to see how those habits will affect them 20 or 30 years down the road. We evaluate how they spend their time. Are they working enough? Playing too much? Being silly at the wrong times? And we're able to train them much more effectively for the future in these areas.

If you live for today with your children, realize it will have consequences down the road. And those consequences will ultimately show how much you loved your children when they were young. Do you love them for today only? Or do you love them for the future as well?

It's time to sit down and evaluate your actions and what consequences they will have down the road. Then ask yourself, "Will my training methods produce fruit in my children 30 years from now -- fruit that shows how wise or foolish I was in their childhood?" If you don't like the answer, it's time to make changes -- long-term changes.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit www.wisdomsedge.com and sign up for this free e-zine.

14 Simple Rules for Raising Successful Children

2007-09-14T09:26:00.000+07:00

By: Jamie Jefferson

Successful parenting means taking the time to understand what our children need to be fulfilled, confident, and happy. Of course, that’s no small task.

Here are 14 guiding principles:

1. First and foremost, recognize the true gravity of your task. Parenting successful, emotionally happy children involves a great deal of important, mindful work – and huge, sweeping swaths of time. The first step is to accept that fact – and to embrace the role of parent as one of the most important roles anyone has ever taken on.

2. Have a ball. Just because our task is immensely important, that doesn’t mean it can’t also be great, great fun. Life with a family is a magnificent adventure – not simply a hassle filled with laundry and dishes. Remind yourself of this as often as necessary. And when the daily work of parenting starts to feel like drudgery, it’s time to devote a day (or, at the very least, an afternoon) for intense family fun. Get some tickets to a ballgame and relax.

3. Spend a lot of time with your children. When you do so, children recognize that they are worth lavishing with time, praise, and attention.

4. Exhibit healthy, successful habits. If you want your kids to be healthy, fit, kind and compassionate, you‘ll need to live that way, too. Treat your mind, body, and soul with the utmost respect. Model caring, kindness, and compassion by working together (as a family) on a volunteer project a few hours a month.

5. Listen well. Strive to be honest, open, and attentive with your spouse and kids. When your children are speaking, get down on their level, ask questions, and really listen to their point of view. True listening does wonders for your children’s self esteem, and it helps them to grow into good listeners themselves. Minimize social contact with adults who are continually “shushing” the children.

6. Show your children that you are genuinely interested in them. Make sure to let them know – through your words and behavior – that you care about what they like to do, even if that’s altogether different from what the rest of the family enjoys. Get involved in activities that interest your child. Whatever it is, learn the lingo and sit down to learn from your child.

7. Try not to criticize, but work with your child on mistakes in a respectful way. Never criticize in front of other adults or children, including siblings. Work to understand their unique point of view. Taking the time to do so sends a message that you accept and trust their decisions and that their opinions are valuable and important.

8. Don’t label your kids – even when those labels sound harmless. Try not to tell your children that they are shy or overly dramatic or too sensitive. Respect the person whom they are and the adult they are becoming, while respecting all the stages they will grow through to get there.

9. Choose your battles very carefully, and allow natural consequences to teach the lessons themselves whenever possible.

10. Be accepting of your children’s friends. Encourage your children to invite their friends over.

11. Be enthusiastic. Make sure your face lights up when your children come near you.

12. Share family stories, whether through a family journal, a scrapbook, or by simply telling one another over and over again about the memories that you treasure. Read aloud at all ages and stages. Cuddle up under a blanket in the evenings to read silently, each with a different book. Ask your kids to make up stories and tell them aloud – or create illustrated books to share.

13. Treasure all the generations. Revere the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Show your children that family is something they can count on for their entire lives.

All this can be distilled into one simple rule: Never let the big picture fade from view. In other words, make sure you have identified your true goal as a parent and live from that frame of mind. For example: My only goal as a parent is to raise happy, kind children who trust themselves and who enjoy peace of mind. If, this week, they decide to eat Top Ramen every night for dinner and sometimes forget to put their shoes in the closet, so be it.

Enjoy the joyful journey of this tremendous task of parenting.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Jamie Jefferson is a frequent contributor to www.BestSelfHelp.com Read more parenting articles and visit today for free self-help resources

Parenting - The Toughest Job You Will Ever Do

2007-08-31T10:03:00.000+07:00

By: Joseph Then

Parenting is one of the toughest but at the same time can be the most rewarding job you will ever do.

It is easy to have kids but not quite so easy to bring them up right. Sometimes it seems like a thankless task, other times small things can make everything worth it.

However the most important thing about child rearing is the fact that your child's future is on the line. How well you handle this important job will affect your child's whole life.

Parenting begins from the day your child is born. How well you nurture and build a relationship with your baby will lay the foundations for your future success in child rearing.

Admittedly some children are harder than others to handle, but the important groundwork begins in infancy. It is very important to build a close loving relationship with your infant.

Even if you have to go to work at this critical period you can still build a loving relationship with your baby by spending as much time as you can with them when you are home.

As your child grows into the toddler years you will face new challenges with your parenting in regards to discipline and outside influences. However you will still need to continue to build your bond of love and respect for each other.

As your child explores the outside world, all sorts of questions arise and you will be competing with teachers and peer pressure for your child's attention.

It is very important at this age to keep communications open and maintain your confidence and mutual respect.

This is the age where your child will be observing their peers and other people and will often try to challenge your authority. Maintain your discipline but pick your battles and be prepared to compromise.

Always remember that deep down a happy child is one that knows there are limits and boundaries in life. This will make them feel secure and build the foundations for a stable adulthood.

The rebellion of the teenage years is sometimes the worst part of parenting and can seem like one long continuous argument.

It is very important to keep communication open at this stage more than any other time. This will help you through these difficult times.

Sometimes you may need a little counseling to help you through these tough times. Do not be afraid to ask, and remember it is a temporary stage.

If possible get support from other family members. Their experiences can often help you.

Once you are over this period you will be able to reap the rewards from your hard labor, as your kids will begin to look after you and lend you their support.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

For more information on the parenting and how you can be a better parent, please visit: Parenting Skills & Tips

What Kind Of Parent Are You?

2007-08-14T07:54:00.000+07:00

By: Douglas Hardwick

Psychological research has identified two broad dimensions of parental behavior that influence greatly the development of children and their personalities. These parental factors, first noted by Diana Baumrind, have been labeled responsiveness and demandingness.

The first dimension, responsiveness, includes the degree to which parents express affection toward their children along with the amount of attention they give to their children's needs. Thus, the responsiveness dimension is largely an estimate of parental "warmth".

The second dimension, demandingness, refers to the parents' use of rules and the degree to which they expect good behavior from their children. It is largely a "control" factor. How much do parents seek to control their children's behavior?

According to Diana Baumrind, the two dimensions of parental behavior described above combine to form four styles of parenting. Some parents are rated high on both warmth (the responsiveness dimension) and control (the demandingness dimension). These parents are called "authoritative" parents. A second group of parents is high on warmth but low on control. These parents are called "permissive" parents. A third group is rated low on warmth but high on control. These parents are called "authoritarian" parents. Finally, a relatively small group of parents is rated low on both warmth and control. These parents are called "uninvolved" parents. Each style of parenting is correlated with specific types of parental behaviors. And, each seems to have its own set of consequences for child development.

Authoritative parents are warm and accepting of their children. They love their children and they show it. While they show affection for their children, authoritative parents also value discipline. They set limits for their children and expect their children to follow family rules. Their disciplinary practices usually include a good deal of reasoning and explanation both for the rules they set and for any punishment they may use.

Permissive parents, like authoritative parents, are warm and affectionate toward their children. Indeed, they are likely to be very involved in their children's lives. However, because they often value creativity and self-expression in their children, permissive parents exert very little "control". They generally do not set standards of behavior for their children. They have very few, if any, family rules and often do not to enforce the rules they do set.

Authoritarian parents have a more detached approach than either authoritative or permissive parents. It is fair to say that they are not child-centered parents. They do not openly demonstrate warmth and affection toward their children. They do not encourage their children to develop independence. For authoritarian parents absolute obedience is a key value. Thus, they do not explain rules or punishments. They are simply the parents and they must be obeyed. Authoritarian parents often resort to harsh forms of punishment to control their children's behavior.

Uninvolved parents are simply indifferent toward their children. They do not show affection and make no real effort to monitor or control their children's behavior. In the extreme case, their parenting style shades into parental neglect.

The four styles of parenting have predictable consequences for children. In general, the best outcomes are associated with authoritative parenting. The children of authoritative parents tend to be the friendliest and most socially competent of all four groups of children. They tend to develop self-confidence, independence, a sense of responsibility, and good self-control. They tend to work up to their potential in school.

The children of permissive parents, in contrast, are not very achievement oriented. They are often viewed by adults as less mature than their age mates. They have lower impulse control and more difficulty handling everyday frustrations. Interestingly, children of permissive parents do not develop the independence and curiosity that their parents seem to value.

Like children of permissive parents, the children of authoritarian parents tend to lack initiative and self-reliance. They are often underachievers in school. From the preschool years on, these children also tend to have relatively poor social skills. They are likely to be anxious or withdrawn when they are around adults.

As you might expect, the worst developmental outcomes are associated with uninvolved parenting. Children of uninvolved parents tend to be unhappy, moody individuals. They are often socially incompetent and aggressive. In the teen years, they are at risk for delinquency and drug use.

What kind of parent are you? If you want to be an effective parent, the lessons from psychological research are simple and compelling. It is not enough to simply love your children. You must openly express your affection for them. At the same time, you must set rules for them and their behavior. Children need both love and limits. When one of these is missing, children experience less than optimal development.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Douglas Hardwick, Ph.D., has extensive interests in issues of holistic health and human development. He is a primary contributor to the information website: www.holisticwebworks.com - Holistic Health and Healing Resources